Ever heard of the saying “the difference between a boy and a man is the price of their toys”? Well….it’s true. I’m a man and I can confirm. It’s not that we can’t grow up, we just don’t want to. We love having fun and fooling around. At least from my point of view, by doing so, life feels a little bit sweeter. But maybe that’s just me.
Now from a more subjective point of view, maybe we (men) are genetically built to not grow up. But it’s not like we don’t respect our ladyes, we love them. It’s just that we do it in our own special funny way.
Here are 20 great examples of old boys doing what they do best.
Txt from wife: where r u
Wife:can u feed cat
M: I mean garage
W:bring in laundry
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) 16 martie 2015
My wife said I need to grow up. I was speechless. It’s hard to say anything when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth — Josh (@iwearaonesie) 10 octombrie 2014
ME: honey, it’s really muggy out today
WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I’m leaving u
ME: *sips coffee from bowl*
— Max Dylan Ash (@mynameisntdave) 15 iunie 2015
THERAPIST: what’s the problem? WIFE: he replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don’t do it on porpoise — Nice Eric (@ericsshadow) 23 mai 2016
accountant: “youre basically broke”
wife: “he keeps spending money on stupid stuff”
me: “lets ask the dog if he thinks his jeans are stupid”
— k e e t (@KeetPotato) 27 octombrie 2015
Headed to Goodwill to buy back something I donated yesterday because this is my lesson on why marriage communication is so important. — Simon Holland (@simoncholland) 5 iunie 2015
[sitting at a table]
Wife: writes number on paper and slides it across.
Me: crosses out and writes new number
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) 12 mai 2015
My wife got a Fitbit for the sole purpose of proving how many times I wake her up in the middle of the night by snoring. — Simon Holland (@simoncholland) 20 ianuarie 2016
Wife: Wow, I’m tired
Me: Go relax, give me the recipe and I’ll make dinner
[Five minutes later] Me: Honey, I think we’re out of…”oven”?
— Pete Lynch (@PJTLynch) 3 noiembrie 2013
I’ve been married for about 45 lbs. — Sparky ️ (@crunchenhanced) 25 martie 2014
ME: There’s no i in team but there is one in pizza
WIFE: so you’re not going to share
ME: I am not going to share
— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) 18 ianuarie 2016
When my wife falls asleep in a public place, I shake her a little and yell, “DON’T YOU DIE ON ME!” People always clap when she wakes up. — Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) 18 august 2015
Me: Look, I love you, But I made exactly the amount of cheese & crackers I want to eat right now.
Wife: But I only…
Me: EXACTLY the amount
— keith (@tchrquotes) 4 noiembrie 2014
wife: “HOW ARE WE OUT OF ICE AGAIN?” me: “DUNNO,” I yell from the bathroom; the penguin and I can barely contain our laughter. — Mike McNeil (@MikeMcNeil_) 10 martie 2015
ME: isn’t this great??
WIFE: not really
ME: *looks down from the top bunk* what’s wrong
— garbage island kyle (@hippieswordfish) 3 noiembrie 2015
Marriage is essentially agreeing to share 50% of your ice cream for ever — Wingman (@The01Wingman) 23 ianuarie 2015
If my wife ever hired a private detective to follow me, it would be to get pictures of me not using the coupons I said I used. — Just Bill (@WilliamAder) 7 mai 2016
— Pej A. (@pazarm) 8 ianuarie 2016
*rolls over & taps wife’s shoulder to wake her* So it was “An American Tail” & not ‘Tale’ because Fievel was a mouse, right? — Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) 4 ianuarie 2015
[runs to the door to greet wife] I’m afraid there’s been a terrible accident involving all the things you asked me to do today.
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) 28 februarie 2016